Chronic Mom Fatigue

Hey tired Mom…

It’s me. A fellow tired mom. A super tired mom, fighting a migraine all night and waking up to kids who seem to know I got no sleep at all and are on their worst behaviour.

I’d ask, “How are you?” But I know the answer.

Oh plugging along!

You know how it goes!

We’ve been busy!

Just doing the next thing!

Tired. So so tired.

It’s amazing. I have everything I could possibly want: an amazing husband, two gorgeous girls, a house that I have poured a lot of work into… But I’m still so tired. It’s like Chronic Mom Fatigue.

Nobody ever said the job of mother was an easy one. In fact, I think I can say that this is the hardest job I’ve ever done. I’ve been in the work force for years and even have worked many of those years with children. But no other job has faced this much scrutiny. I’ve never been watched so carefully by a world waiting for me to screw up or judging my every move. I’ve never felt this much pressure to be good at my job—the pressure that lives are at stake if you mess up or fail. There are so many balls to juggle and each job comes with a thousand subheadings. “Make sure they’re healthy” sounds easy enough, but becomes so much more complicated when it’s make sure they’re eating the right foods and enough of those foods, make sure they’re getting enough sleep, make sure they’re getting enough exercise but not hurting themselves with too much exercise or the wrong kind, make sure they are mentally and emotionally ready for the tasks they are doing, make sure the house is clean enough to create a sustainable environment, make sure the kids are clean, make sure they know how to brush their teeth the right way, make sure to call the specialists they need for their various issues and challenges. And I’m missing things, I know I’m missing things.

I also know that I’m not the only mom who feels this. When I read other mom blogs and talk to other moms, we all seem to be struggling with the same thing: endless stress that we’re going to mess up, frantically trying to do a good job, and then guilt that we’re so tired at the end of the day. Doesn’t matter if you’re a stay-at-home mom, a homeschool mom, a mom working outside the home, a mom of one, or a mom of thirteen. We all seem to be feeling the same thing.

I am trying to parent from a place of rest. I’ve talked about homeschooling from that place, so I should be able to parent from there, right? I’m trying to crush fear, worry, and anxiety. I’ve talked about actively seeking to destroy heart idols that distract us, I should just listen to my own advice, right? But today I am struggling to find that peace, struggling to feel anything other than worry and fear. Even as I dive into my Bible for comfort and truth, I feel it weigh heavily on my heart. I know what the Psalmist means when he says his spirit groans within him. My entire heart is groaning and my tears are evidence.

We all have dark sides of life that happen behind Instagram’s glossy veneer, pain that’s hidden in the depths of our hearts that we try to hide from the gawking world. We all feel it, but it means the source of the Chronic Mom Fatigue is a little different for each mom.

Today, as I’m struggling to keep my head above water, I’m praying that this makes me way more graceful to all the other tired moms. I’m praying that I can show love and support to other moms who are grappling similar or different darkness.

Take heart, tired Mama. Jesus is the rest for our weary souls. And even though there are days we don’t feel at rest, we can look forward to an eternal rest. We’ve just got to keep running the race and encouraging our fellow runners. We may be tired, but I trust we are following God’s plan for the best for our kids and that makes all the exhaustion worth it.

But seriously, is 6:30pm too early to go to bed? Asking for a friend.